The one girl has sent him particularly sweet friendly messages on Whatsapp a few times so Im even more jealous than I already was. No calling. I then left home and came back a later day. He did have a hard time texting back or talking and thats what brought me to posting the initial question. WebHe gets upset when he sees me giving attention to other guys but goes back to ignoring me when I give him attention. Hes going to party for his birthday but couldnt do anything special for me today, especially after everything I do for him. it is like his way of saying he just wants to do whatever he wants now and I if I dont like it, tough crap. Ironic the 6th year anniversary I spoke of then is on Monday and we were supposed to be celebrating by going to the place we went on our first date tomorrow, instead, because they arent open on Mondays. I DO ALL THE LAUNDRY, VACCUMING , DISHES ,MOPPING, ALL THE CLEANING. We actually ended up breaking up and I tried to distance myself. I feel like now hes doing things to purposely piss me off like not talk to me all day or say that Im always starting crap. Ive bin going through a similar situation with a guy. "It was hard taking the constant rejection." All of the sudden he said hes not into texting. After you write down your expectations of your boyfriend, ask yourself if theyre realistic. Im in school full time until July 2023 and though I have a flex pt job at Amazon, the hours and job itself is so crappy. I truly dont know what to do.. Ive been with my bf for 3 years now and were expecting. Hey so Ive been in a relationship for about 2 years now. Perhaps he thinks guys dont need to make an effort in relationships, and girlfriends should do all the work. On the other hand, maybe your boyfriends lack of effort means that he only calls you once a month or texts you once every two months. Like, if they arent happy anymore, why not tell us so we can move on? But it hasnt. That didnt rlly happen he didnt last a day without me. We went on a trip. They may not come true. I have since ended the relationship as I feel it is a one way system with him taking and not giving. I am still sad and confused as to what happened. The man I end up with will not leave me hanging feeling sad and confused. I think him doing that even though you have said you arent okay with it is extremely disrespectful and shows he doesnt care about your feelings. He hasnt asked me out or made an effort to spend anytime with me for 4 weekends in a row. Even sent follow up warnings and he still didnt do anything this Valentines Day. Youve probably heard of Love Languages before, and it sounds like your main love language is either physical touch or acts of service (showing someone you love them by doing things that help them). Ive been with him since july 2020 and its been rocky but its resolved and yeah there is zero effort to hang out and i have to initiate everything. Your boyfriend is a narcissist. I feel like he doesnt love me as much as he used to. he said he had been trying to email me but i dont rlly believe it I never got anything. We live like 30-35 minutes away but I have friends who have relationships similar and they see their boyfriends all the time. I met my boyfriend at work. But he appriciate my participation in some kind of sexul things. It just seems like a cliche movie begining or something. Thanks for letting me vent gals. Hot and cold. This person uses sarcasm to take me down a peg, even after I said that Im not here for that. I feel like I & this relationship deserve more. I cant say no because if I do I feel like Im being lazy and letting them down, plus they get mad at me for saying no. He used to put in a little more effort Im confused. Love your reply and I agree with it all Im struggling right now as Im conflicted with wht to do how long do you wait how long do you keep understanding he has issues he is dealing with but makes minimal effort with our relationship.. Im just sad angry and confused. My expectations: Be an adult while fighting. Ill call him daily or send him texts but he only leaves me on seen and doesnt reply. We used to go on dates once or twice a week. I would NEVER drop my whole life for a Man! But when it comes to his business he always asks for my help and Im always putting things aside to help him. Even when you are depressed you can do little things, especially if its for someone you love. We never do anything spontaneous or fun, and Im the type of person who loves that stuff. I was told by my therapist that I could be the one to plan the date myself and ask him out and even though I completely agree with her on that, I cant help feel now that if I were to do that and ask him on a date that he will think that he doesnt ever have to put in the effort of planning something, anything, and that if he waits long enough I will plan it for us so he doesnt have to. So Im telling myself to just treat him like an acquaintance and move on with my life, but still find myself getting triggered on the daily by this baffling behavior. it was boring and dull. Hi im kushi, 25yrs old.. My boyfriend and I have been in our relationship for 3yrs now.. Do not sound attacking or desperate. This is the only problem in our relationship, the lack of effort. Since then my boyfriend has made no effort in our relationship. When I first met him I didnt think I needed a relationship but now especially in this lockdown I feel a little empty and alone. I hope this helps! Get emotionally and spiritually healthy. This man is no good for you, and he will never learn how to grow out of his depression if theres someone always doing everything for him. Something went down and he doesnt want to confess. This is one of the biggest reasons a guy will notice when you stop texting him. Theres no dignity or respect in how youre being treated. We live together also, in a large house he bought with his ex. I had the same thing. We were together for three years. but again i was stupid and foolish.. i was so considerate to him that i believed that things will be different this time. I trust him and I wanna keep trusting him. What would you do? Since me and my son have been here, which is almost a year, my boyfriend has initiated sex ONE TIME, taken me out somewhere other than the GROCERY STORE, ZERO TIMES, wether its out to dinner, out for drinks, or ANYTHING. I am 20 years old, and Ive been on and off with my boyfriend since we were both 13. I am actually tearing up as I type those words, he actually said that to me. I want to be with him but Im also scared that Im wasting my young years and wake up one day regretting not leaving bc he isnt going to change how he is for me or at least try for me. After my birthday on the 2nd I was 16 and he was 18 (not a big age difference and its not illegal where Im at) and so i wanted to meet him in person. I was heart broken. So in my situation, I live with my boyfriend for about a year now in which we did move too fast because we moved in together after about 6 months of dating. 8 Signs Youre Falling Out of Love With Your Partner, How People Who Commit Adultery Justify Cheating, According to an Expert, What to Do If Someone Is Flirting With Your Partner, What Is Breadcrumbing? He doesnt do laundry, dishes, cook or clean. It may be time to reassess your relationship. everything stopped. I almost believe he is avoiding me for not been attracted to me.I am sure that he wants me and I feel frustrated with his actions but I do love other qualities he has. So I honestly dont understand. He then said it was my fault because I did not remind him that I needed a ride. He always said that its his first relationship and he doesnt know how to behave like a boyfriend. Omgod girl leave him. Then he will call and say he thinks he will just wait until Sunday morning to come down, Sunday morning he says maybe that afternoon. Which actually does NOT suck because I was married for 24 years and I dont miss having to make sure someone eats supper, has clean clothes, etc. So, I believe I know him very well. So I am working on adjusting my expectations so I dont get disappointed. Im 47, and he is 57 now, and we have been together for 10 years now and have lived together for 8 years. Communicate with him without fighting. In fact, because you are so young, they will most likely find you when you least expect it. If you almost never see each other, then sitting down to talk about your relationship or his lack of effort would look much different than if you live together. You arent asking for too much. I learned that my in my boyfriends past relationships he always go and pick up her girldfriend at work and wait for her without asking anything And i feel that he puts more effort to her past relationship, but to me he will ask first should I pick you up? Or would you want to go out? , I feel like there is no initiative or he doesnt want to see me at all. Hello Crystal, I am very interested in what you have said, do you mind to give more details please? ive been always the understanding one. HI CHRIS, MY BOYFRIEND ALSO DRINKS A LOT. He begrudgingly paid the initial payment of $600 but was pissed because he expected me to spend my winter break, the first break Ive had for myself since before my mom got diagnosed with cancer on 2020, working full time to save up the $1800 tuition. Recently we spoke after time a part and he said hed really change. I am in q very similar situation. Then later said someone was making it. Am I being needy too much? You are so young and still have many, many years to find a good guy. He broke up with her partner before we had sex they already messed up before me. I do want to believe its because of all his family issues that all this is happening but I am well known for making excuses for boyfriends when things arent right. He is a nice guy as a whole but its the fact he went out of his way for me a handful of times that gave me a little hope in this What should I do? I just feel like that is so little reassurance for what would be 7 years together, that we would have the possibility to then just maybe live together. I dont want to give this up if there is an underlying issue that we can resolve, but I cant put my finger on it. Before that weve only met to chat, watch a movie or take a walk. Its sad. I gave him the benefit of the doubt too many times. I know hes not a bad person maybe he doesnt feel the same about me anymore, or still loves me but is not in love with me anymore. What do I do? I am slowly trying to make new friendships and to enjoy myself with people who love me. Then, this guy comes up to me and asks if I was new there. Hed say something really mean, watch my cry and if I asked to talk about it, Hed tell me why do we have to always talk about it or why cant you just drop it and not bring it up my favorite was Im not apologizing because Im not sorry, you just like making a big deal over nothing one time I asked about marriage (he took me to the red wood Forrest and asked me to marry him 2 years prior to this comment) he told me hed never marry a b**ch. His attitude stinks toohe laughs in my face when I get upset by this. Then we signed our new real lease together and I dont know how we got where we got but he started getting lazy. He has not made me do any of this. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years. Unlike me, hes understanding and loyal (my family loves him) but his situation is really difficult but im getting tired of being the only one that tries to make this work by always initiating stuff. We are now in quarantine and I have mostly been the one to come see him. Of course you want him to make an effort to wine and dine you; his time, effort, and energy shows he cares about you. Never happened. Ive had a talk with him a few times that I feel like his mom, Im always cleaning and cooking and have to tell him what needs to be done. Thank You for sharing your story. He has way more money than me and said he didnt do anything because he was angry at me. A couple weeks ago, we went to a show which was our first date in a long time. Its completely up to me to provide the conversation and topics, which is rather stressful for me 2 years in. He always used to put his friends before me, lied to me, involved in gangs and drugs. For the past few months I noticed he stopped making effort. I just dont feel like a priority any more. Any facetimes we would do were 90% instigated by me. I am right there with you and share very similar feelings. Do you feel loved? When I ask, he gives me some reasons. We do not even live together and he puts no effort, and I think throughout the years it would get worse if we get married, or live together. That was on Friday. he said hell give me more time but nothing ever changes. Im sorry, and I know it can be a really hard thing to do, but you need to leave. Btw he put his board in a form of a heart on his wall for me . I just feel hurt and we just had a big fight yesterday and I feel kinda empty. , hopefully each day, I will start to become stronger, and maybe me and him could continue with our friendship as time passes. I just requested patience. 7 years this month, no anniversary, didnt even notice actually. I pay d bills, I buy him stuffs give him money, I practically do everything in d relationship . He doesnt ask about my life and hes still working with his ex wife in a business relationship. Like by shouting Im gonna get scared or intimated. hed text at 11-1am for me, but by then i would have fallen asleep. he said its his karma for leaving me behind. And you need to figure out why youre not asking him to treat you better. He chatted me the day of valentines day 2019. As stated above, knowing what your boyfriend is going through (ex trauma, personal grief, work load) is important and all, but also knowing how you would act if you were in a similar situation gives you answers and peace. That is an abusive, toxic relationship and you deserve so much better! Although weve talked about it many times and although I told him I wanted to go out once a month, he doesnt initiate. I assumed I was losing my shit and being too emotional, but its the 70 hr work week and the MBA When you go without sleep for extended periods of time, you start developing symptoms that look similar to depression. Its really hard, but Im trying. I am doing all the work for us. He always makes his schedules according to his friends schedules and if I wanna spend any time with him I have to change my schedules. Be someone who demands respect, dont waste any more of your time with someone who isnt hearing you. He replied: about what? He will never be that boyfriend ever again. Things have been bad for a while. I can tell you have much love for him but imagine how good itll be to love someone that has that same love and 10x more for you. Things started getting better and then crashed on the rocks. How can he be so sure of that and not even care to nurture our relationship? Normally he kept our video call within 15 minutes, and he will keep quiet for a week after the call, but last one was lasted over half an hour and he went into silent for a few weeks after that. He also doesnt seem as interested in what I have to say anymore. Then I gave up on trying to figure it out. 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