You need emotional distance from this situation. My EX & I still stay in contact after a year & a half. He had deleted me off facebook. I tried to reassure him that I was not like his ex and I told him he just needed to trust me and I understood it would take time to get to that point. Many breakups happen because of a series of arguments in a relationship and oftentimes they might require an apology from one or both of you. I might still had a chance but I ruined it by talking about getting back together when he specifically asked me not to do it. This is so much more complicated than it sounds because he says he doesnt want to have any contact with me until hes ready but still calls me (to promptly say that he doesnt want to talk to me) but after a few minutes he says he still loves me and always will, that he misses me etc. At first, you will feel like you are dreaming. Ive never had another relationship. He hugged me, we kissed many many times and he said he loves me many times. They have been long distance since their start (so only spent a few weeks together here and there). We're still debating it. Below, 10 signs you're stuck in an almost-relationship. I know this is not easy for him too and instead of him being happy single life and be happy with this girl for example, he is depressed hardly seeing friends dont speak to anybody and looks very sad and tired and depressed. We have always enjoyed spending our time together. I was just going to my car to wait for our mutual friend to take me home. (mind you, drunk me is a very friendly person). Which isnt true. You would most likely only be a passing curiosity and not inspire much of an extreme emotional reaction either way. Could there still be a future? I was furious. can time apart really make your relationship stronger. The way we treat someone is a mirror for how we feel about them (and ourselves). We had a healthy 2.5 year relationship and the breakup was not ugly, he just doesnt want to be in a relationship right now but said that maybe when he is ready, we can try again. Suddenly I was shocked, cried and begged and obviously I made it worse. In such cases, we might be expected to continue sharing the same level of intimacy and affection as we did when we were together. The best part of my job is that I get access to so much unique data that no one else really has, and that gives me concrete statistical figures about the breakup/patch-up process. We ended in good terms, so we maintained a lover/friends relationship while being "single". This ensures we stay connected with our social networks and shared friends after we break up. I was drinking on the weekend and my ex is now in a relationship with another woman that been dating for a month now and I was drinking on the weekend and he ended up in the same party I was when I went up to him he started to kiss me I told him if he still loves me and he reply what if I dont anymore I got so upset than went off I really dont know, I have been living with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years, and I have finally had to face the truth: He still loves his ex and if she clicked her fingers I know he would go running back to her (she left him for another guy). it was perfect until about 3 weeks ago. When eventually he called me to apologize for the breakup (his idea), he explained that he was getting himself together.. Hi Claudine, you need to give him the space he wants and I suggest that you follow the information about No Contact for 45 days and work on your Holy Trinity. Im so lost. Last week, my client Jenia told me, Liam is my ex-husband. I google some relationship stuff and narcissism articles popped up and everything he was saying and doing described narcissism to a T. I sent him the links to the articles and told him that his behavior finally made sense and I had the closure I needed to move on. Exes only act this weird when they either regret the breakup or still have buried feelings for you. Im in a slime r reationship that impacticm is e, You might want to get out of the slime relationship Judy, that sounds awful and serious . He called and contactd me with stupid excuses all the time EVEN after I asked NOT TO!And he follows my stories on insta.but I feel he is moving on.I asked him a couple times to leave me alone..because he does nt love ME he loves ALL WOMEN. I might have tried to make a go of things had he not upset our daughter so much.why do I want him to feel as shit as I feel? Im at a loss. My situation falls into a lot of these categories! I told her I wanted to fix things and that Im still madly in love. Breakups arent always permanent, and these signs are a great estimate to judge if your ex is regretting the breakup: By Chris Seiter and Coach Shaunna Nicol | 1 comments, Your email address will not be published. Its just that the advice I provide here is only snippets, tailored to individual situations when I have the opportunity to respond. So i always feel like he has to sneak to talk to me. These are the things we learn about people as we date and get to know them better. One of the most consistent things people say when they come to me for 1:1 coaching is that they want to show their ex how much they have changed since the breakup.. Drunk me, being supportive was like just go ahead and text her saying youre on your way! Our mutual friend invited us out to a club a few days ago and when I showed up, he asked me how I was going. the answer is clear. My ex does almost everything on that list except drunk dial and have a new girlfriend. He said that he is just not in love anymore. Hi Chris. I have seen many couples where one ex was upset if the other denied being friends after the breakup. For example, if we shared a lot of expenses while living together, we might still need to share financial responsibility to maintain our lifestyle after breaking up. I really feel like he loves me but he doesnt say it. What if you you never really had a definite break up? He liked and commented on it. We might continue to act like we are a couple even after we have broken up because we want to protect our memories. 4. Another way to tell is by observing his behaviour around other people. Once I got my phone turned back on, he told me that he asked his ex wife if she had extra graduation tickets, he said she said no. She doesnt want a family nor kids and she wants to live overseas. you still dont want to trust me huh?. This allows us to work through our issues civilly and respectfully. However, recently, I told him that in this 2 years I have never stopped thinking about him. even sat in the car with me and took my keys from me. One day after another fight I made him up against the wall and eventually he ended the relationship under pressure. One way to tell is by looking at how he treats you. Do you feel confident you could reliably get in touch with your ex and get their help if you really needed it? Here are some key signs your ex still loves you that I look for when I help people save their relationships. It seems as though you see nothing but dead ends. Any help would be appreciatedplease tell me Im doing the right thing,as far as my daughter is concerned. Are a few minutes of your day worth attracting love? The end of a relationship is never easy, especially when there are still feelings between you and your former significant other. Then I find out he was with her this past weekend. It can also mean revisiting places we once went together or doing activities we once loved as a couple. But I think that maybe with the quarantine, he got closer to her in those weeks (despite long distance)? Its an important lesson about what your ex is thinking after a breakup while theyre still into you. And there are many reasons why people do this, but I will discuss the 12 most common ones in this blog post. I have never seen him cry ever and he teared up and cried while we were talking and it confirmed to me how much he cared. And it infuriates me. The more extreme your exs emotional reaction to your breakup whether its love, hate or awful deep sadness the more likely your ex still loves you. Sussman said that if your ex has reached out to say that "they are working on themselves and understand that your issues and past complaints were valid," it could be a sign that things could work out the second time around, especially if you've noticed that your partner is making major changes in their life. Honestly, whenever fought. But nun of his friends like me or want him talking to me. Doesn't matter if there could or could not be future. Learn how your comment data is processed. If your exes excuses for getting in touch seem weird or really vague, this can be confusing but its actually a good sign. They may act like a couple and have all the trappings of a relationship, such as spending time together, meeting each others friends and family, and having long conversations about their feelings. We have both been very tense lately. He says that he wants to work on himself etc. Another reason is that the relationship may have started on shaky ground. Money could be another explanation for why some people continue to act like a couple even after they have broken up. As to whether or not it will last the next time around or if several more breakups are in the future, no one can say for sure (excepts psychics), but there are some very specific reasons why people go for round two or 10. We talked all the time. Why did he want someone who needed loyalty and boundaries if hes a free-range kind of guy and why did I want things to work when I saw early on that he has no boundaries and loves everyone the same; the female friend has the same status as the girlfriend and the ex wife and the ex. I asked why and he said he wants to be stable and figure himself out. I know its the right thing to do, but I still love him. He is the love of my life and I just want my family back. While there are many reasons why people break up, ultimately, it comes down to a lack of compatibility or a fear of intimacy. Even anger. He didnt leave you because you dont love him enough. Chances are if you've decided to go your separate ways, it was probably for a few reasons. He understands the situation as well, i jus think hes wanted me for so long that it hurts that we arent officially together. He start seeing a girl from his work, she is just going to be 21 soon and he is 36! but he loves me and so on, but at the same time ge updates his pictures on tinder. Even though I genuinely enjoyed his company the 3 times I met him, it was a dead giveaway that my ex was not ready to talk to me yet and had sent in his friend to see what I was up to. Find out the 7 sneaky blocks keeping you from manifesting an amazing, happy, connected relationship and exactly what you can do about them, starting immediately. All of these are potential signs your ex still loves you. Remember how I was talking about how my partner and I had no contact for 10 months? When someone can walk away from you and never care what they've done to you, spend all of their time worried about themselves and never see the misery they are causing to others. I was completely confused at the time about why this guy I barely knew was going out of his way to awkwardly make conversation with me. And like I just said, your exes reasons for getting in touch with you might seem weird, like texting about how they found your socks under the bed. Also Brendans birthday is a week after mine and he never bothered to wish me happy birthday last year, hrs older, hes 19, Im 18. I told him I needed to know if I should move on and leave out of state with my family. For the vast majority (over 90 percent), this communication began within a couple of months of the breakup and continued . If you broke up but still act like a couple, this is because not enough time has passed since the breakup. Here intimacy means we remain emotionally close to each other. He left me a month ago after a period of arguments and lack of communication. Later, I found out for certain that he still loved me, but when he initially broke up with me and told me it was over he was hurting and angry and a whole bunch of other emotions that took him a lot of time to process. I have never felt such a prolonged, deep-seated, intense, toxic anger, resentment, and betrayal. Did they recently follow you on Instagram out of the blue? And the other part of me know how much he loves me and he said hes happy when hes with me. And that list of signs your ex still loves you is what I want to share today. That couple may have a good shot of getting back together.". Naturally I was devastated and heartbroken. Hi Everyone, Why You Shouldnt, 10 Signs Your Ex is Turning Your Child Against You to Alienate, Can DCF Take My Child without a Court Order? This could mean continuing to rent the same house or apartment we lived in together, or it could be due to specific contractual agreements with our employer that require us to keep up appearances. But being civil, having catch up coffee, chatting im good with all of that. He has since been drinking heavily and sleeping with loads of girls. He has told me he loves me a couple of times. . Coach Elizabeth Stone is head love coach and founder of Attract The One and Luxe Self. Ive been out of a 30 year relationship for about 8 years. he has directly told me I am here for you if you ever need me He rarely reached out but he did for my boyfriend did not commit to friendship so its weird my older one does since I have not seen him since August of 2016. To know them better do, but I still stay in contact after a period of arguments and of! Matter if there could or could not be future you feel confident could. 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