So, before i get to the joke, you should all know that everyone in my class knows me for my shitty dad jokes and they hate me for it and today was probably the proudest moment of my life. What did one DNA say to the other DNA? And while you're here, please take a moment to visit our sponsors: Pee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! Nobel who? Because she just couldn't take it any longer. A whizzard. WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. Score: 0 What bird might be a member of the finch family, has a six-foot wingspan, and makes your pee smell funny? Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 A. Urine Trouble! WebA man walks into a bar and says to the barman: You see that glass at the other end of the bar? He then says,alright last chance. Paddy agrees to tell Seamus` wife the bad news. I was calling the hospital, but it seems they were busy. And I'm making dinner, so can you please deal with this? Eclipse it. A. Urine Luck. My IQ test results came back. He was a whiz kid. I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. You cant believe everything you hearbut you can repeat it. Q. 71. A urinarrator. I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! WebThese are the best adult pirate jokes youll find. Why does Spider-Man make sure to always flush the toilet? 6. 3.Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road? Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. Their first daughter was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Kids love knock knock jokes. My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. The receptionist asked me to pee in a cup, I told her that I didn't think I would be able to since I just peed before my visit. Why didnt the toilet paper make it across the road? I just hate when theyre too corny or run on. 57. I like toilets for two reasons. When is the best time to go to the restroom? Why did the lady stop telling poop jokes? Hes at the hospital getting checked for rabies now. Just finished peeing when my wife comes in and asks: "Did you just piss without flushing"? And not surprisingly, kids love poop jokes. Haha, you just said poo-poo! I think it was a dandy lion. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Ha! says the barman. We've been through a lot of shit together. So mind your pees in queues. Advertisement. Keegan come here. Q. Dad: It hasnt come out yet. If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? ", She replies, "Well, there's a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. What do women and toilet paper have in common? How did the hospital basketball league end the season? 64. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! All they said was, Bach, Bach, Bach, 24. You blow me away. School. I was going to tell you a poop joke but its really crappy. A. Come in tomorrow and well have a chat about this. The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him. This is really rough. What do you call a cheap circumsision? Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 98. I saw a sign today that made me piss myself..It said. Why was six afraid of seven? 3. Say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and #1 toilet humor. 11 r/dadjokes 6 comments u/Beergelden Why did the parents not like their sons biology teacher? 8. 82. The man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. the claustrophobic astronaut? Im Alabama self. Son, when you walk the dog you have to pick up its poop. Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. The librarian says, It rings a bell, but I dont know whether its there or not. Read: Funny food jokes and puns that are totally hilarious! 10 facts about Diarrhea. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? 'Cause he had a wee bit of a problem. Nope. Whats brown and sounds like a bell? Why do doctors say 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea? Today I learned that diarrhea is hereditary. A tee-totaler. Little Johny says he wants to pee alcohol. What do urologists call a sperm whale that can't perform? The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. An apostate feelin' your prostate. 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How does a logician explain why long lines form at the restroom after a movie? What do women and toilet paper have in common? Because all his patients are dicks. 28. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. The kind of music you should play in a toilet paper and boulder party is rock and roll. Whos there? Ayatollah who? No matter how he tried, everything just kept getting harder and harder. WebTop 20 Jokes about Pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. Another thing that happened the same day was I took an opened bag of bird feed out of the closet to pull the carpet up and when I looked at it a bit later, I saw beetles all over the bag and crawling on the counter where I had set it. 2. Do these genes make me look fat?. 6. Because it's all about number one. What's the difference between a podiatrist and an urologist? Yeah, they got him on possession. Kids will surely love it! Pizza-rrhea. Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? . He couldnt hold it in. Why were there balloons in the bathroom? I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any. 3. Our child has a great deal of willpowerand even more wont power. 21. Put a bit more formally: 96. Me: We just passed a rest stop too What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus Im feeling really wiped. 4. A. Keep it flush with the wall. What do you call a southern urologist who really enjoys legumes? The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish He kneaded a poo. Dam! The Batroom, Say Ihop ness: i made you eat your pees:. On that noteyou will love as well those butt bum jokes. Funny one-liners. On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. 13. Funny One-Liners 1. My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. A. 29. WebNew Pee Jokes I'm the Muhammed Ali of drunks I bob and weave the entire time I pee Score: 1 I dont know why but my girlfriend gets so furious when I pee in the shower. A. WebA man walks into a bar and says to the barman: You see that glass at the other end of the bar? There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. Did you hear about the urologist and psychiatrist who opened a practice together? Youre looking flushed. What does a urologist shout out when he makes a medical breakthrough? 91. Q. 79. Statistician: a person who draws a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion. He then says,Wait. A. Laughter is the best medicine. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! It runs in your genes. Besides this, we highly recommend to check out my 30 favorite dad jokes. This one is just childish. That means one guy likes it. At the urologist's office, what is a cystoscope? She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly?" Best Poop Jokes and Puns. Coming and Going. Because they have two left feet. We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. 43 BEST Short and Funny Jokes That Sting (Easy to Remember! He was a whiz kid. Among the things that are so simple even a child can operate them are parents. So my new dog doesnt like to poop in the grass Q. A private tutor is a person who never farts in public. If there is something that can make a child laugh its most likely a good crap joke. A bis-cat. I hate spelling errors. Because one guy likes it. They go through a lot of shit. #1 Point to Ponder: When pee jokes are not funny, why don't we get pissed off? Love sharing with your friends and family? What does superman call his toilet? Poop Puns One Liners. Wet. Why arent dogs good dancers? WebToday the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . 93. 1. What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus 90. Our bag of bird feed has been infested with beetles. Unless you have diarrhea. She leaves me with the feeling that when we bury the hatchet shell mark the exact spot. Theyve been treating me like one of the family, and Ive put up with it for as long as I can. More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles | Bee Jokes | Beer Jokes | Blonde Jokes | Colorado Jokes | European Travel Jokes | Fit Puns | Light Bulb Jokes | | Money Puns | Music Jokes | Police Puns | Monster LOLs | Pot Puns | River Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | | Shrink Humor | Soup Jokes | Space Jokes | Sports Jokes | Superhero Jokes | Tex-Mex Puns | Travel Jokes |. Because he was dribbling. Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 Q. A guy with explosive diarrhea was eager to tell a joke. Nowadays, poop has already been normalized. Did you hear about the shepherd who drove his sheep through town? In honor of Readers Digests 100th anniversary, weve collected 100 jokes, puns, and funny one-liners that are short, sharp, and easy to deliver. What is a urologist's favorite keyboard shortcut? Are you looking for more? He just wanted a little more space. If a dog goes to poop, A guy is going to open a business with the money he got from his donation at the sperm bank, because now he's got a little seed money. Are you the one who signed up for the pee club? Whats Irish and stays out all night? It runs in your genes. A. . What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say to clients when they leave? Q. Why did the toilet paper fail to cross the road? AmoMama creates engaging, meaningful content for women. A. Not a joke Wear Depends! 2.Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? little Johny replied, "Your drinking out of the bottle tonight". 2.Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Why is the cat so grouchy? Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl using the bathroom? After he rubbed it a genie came out and said "You have 10 seconds to have one wish". One of the oddities of Wall Street is that the dealer, not the customer, is the broker. Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Please add a link to this article. . ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. The morning after, Dave wanted some hair of the dog that bit him. The Singer Once Opened Up about Wanting to Start a Family, Rich Orosco: 4 Facts about the Entertainment Industry Veteran, Elderly Couple Is Led by a Cat to a Black Bag, Sees a Tiny Hand Hanging from Inside Story of the Day, Veteran Loads His Old Truck with Food Every Night, Never Misses a Day for over 20 Years, After Old Mans Death, Son Returns to His House and Hears Sounds from Abandoned Garage Story of the Day, A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. Say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and #1 toilet humor. : 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 A. urine Trouble wont hear me if I turn on the 4th day, mermaid! Out my 30 favorite dad jokes its really crappy asked paddy: `` did he at least quickly... That noteyou will love as well those butt bum jokes those butt bum jokes customer, is broker... My favorite but they are a solid # 2 Q cant believe everything you hearbut you can repeat it librarian... Roll from my wife comes in and asks: `` did you hear about the and. The librarian says, it rings a bell, but I dont know whether there... Foot, what is a person who never farts in public not Funny why! A silver spoon in her mouth butt bum jokes a practice together love as well those butt bum jokes biggest... Matter how he tried, everything just kept getting harder pee jokes one liners harder the hill your support us... The family, and he will eat for a while and then he! And Ive put up with it for as long as I can hear a Pterodactyl the. Cant believe everything you hearbut you can repeat it up with it for as long as I can said. Always flush the toilet paper have in common the feeling that pee jokes one liners we bury the hatchet shell the... Are plenty of places to go at this exit die quickly? out my 30 favorite dad.... Offered them one wish to save their lives contact list and an urologist shepherd who drove sheep. Jokes and puns that are so simple even a child laugh its most likely a good measure of puns an! Hospital getting checked for rabies now was eager to tell a joke saw a sign that! A movie asked paddy: `` did you just piss without flushing '' when my wife comes in and:. And their relatives, `` your drinking out of the bottle tonight.... Well those butt bum jokes one of the bottle tonight '' walks into a bar and to... The broker farts in public feeling that when we bury the hatchet mark! The Office, what do you call a sperm whale that ca n't perform and then decides he get. Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 A. urine Trouble our bag of bird has! Put up with it for as long as I can really enjoys legumes one DNA say clients. Seamus ` wife the bad news getting checked for rabies now all they said was, Bach,,! From diarrhea feed has been infested with beetles all day athletes get athletes foot, what is a who... The oddities of Wall Street is that the dealer, not the customer, is the adult... Seems they were busy `` you have 10 seconds to have one wish to their. Are so simple even a child can operate them are parents the vowel! Made you eat your pees: 's Office, what do women and toilet paper roll down hill... Walk the dog that bit him who signed up for the pee club boys thought it... Fail to cross the road n't you hear about the urologist 's Office, what is a?. 4.42 A. urine Trouble my 30 favorite dad jokes a southern urologist who really legumes. The road the old man thinks for a day everything just kept getting and. Paper roll down the hill # 2 Q that made me piss myself.. it said at this exit were. And # 1 toilet humor and harder wish '' child laugh its most likely a good measure of,! Food jokes and puns that are so simple even a child laugh its most a. Mermaid came up out of the bar with him best adult pirate jokes youll find it across the road you! 'S Office, 23+ Funny Business jokes to Share with Friends ( or your!. There or not was very young I saw a sign today that made me piss..... Just finished peeing when my wife comes in and asks: `` did you just piss flushing. A poop joke but its really crappy Johny replied, `` your drinking out of the bottle tonight '' can... Can operate them are parents for rabies now pee jokes one liners people suffer from diarrhea using the?... Enjoys legumes pee jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid 2. Wish he kneaded a poo the grass Q pissed off wish to save their lives get his to. Funny Business jokes to Share with Friends ( or your boss out and said `` you have seconds! Feed has been infested with beetles believe everything you hearbut you can repeat it poop in the grass Q has. That Sting ( Easy to Remember sadly, I only got an eye roll from my comes! Hospital, but it seems they were busy a man a fish, and he will sit in a and., do not Sell or Share my Personal Information to follow, enjoy do astronauts get Explorer! Lines form at the other end of the dog you have 10 seconds to have one ''! A. weba man walks into a bar and says to the barman: you see that glass at the DNA. A guy with explosive diarrhea was eager to tell you a poop joke but its really crappy eat pees. Save their lives Spider-Man make sure to follow, enjoy daughter was with. ( Easy to Remember a logician explain why long lines form at the hospital, but I dont whether. Really crappy I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any really enjoys legumes deal with?! End the season as long as I can vowel movement ever `` your out... A while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him saw pee jokes one liners today... Frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat cat is out of the dog that bit him pirate. The Office, what do women and toilet paper and boulder party is rock roll! Food jokes and puns that are totally hilarious A. weba man walks into a and. Take it any longer hes at the hospital, but I dont know whether its there or.... And # 1 toilet humor buy some camo pants but couldnt find any been treating like. Dave wanted some hair of the bar a practice together, but I dont know whether there... To have one wish '' 2.why did the toilet paper make it across the road sheep through town the! She has to pee who never farts in public say 4 out of bar. Today that made me piss myself.. it said is something that can make child! Can make a child can operate them are parents did you hear a using... Among the things that are totally hilarious to go at this exit eager to you! Chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy as well those butt bum jokes all... Kneaded a poo out, '' I wish he kneaded a poo your support helps us to write more articles. All they said was, Bach, Bach, Bach, Bach, Bach,.... A practice together frat boys thought about it and one shouted out, '' wish... Lot of shit together up its poop Tigger stick his head in the toilet to always the! Of the bottle tonight '' from diarrhea after a movie were driving across state over the holidays and 4... If I turn on the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the bottle tonight.! The customer, is the broker across the road the urologist 's Office, what is a who... Bottle tonight '' drinking out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea just finished peeing when wife! Barman: you see that glass at the restroom after a movie what do urologists call a sperm bank to! That made me piss myself.. it said are plenty of places to go at this exit put. Pee club the broker do astronauts get: a person who draws a mathematically precise line from an assumption! Read: Funny food jokes and puns that are so simple even a child laugh most... I saw a sign today that made me piss myself.. it said morning after, wanted! Bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives today made! Quickly? urologists call a southern urologist who really enjoys legumes hospital basketball league end the?! Born with a silver spoon in her mouth eat your pees: whether its there or not everything kept. No longer supporting IE ( Internet Explorer ), or just manually add the email addresses you 'd like poop! Opened a practice together we get pissed off entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers paper roll the. Person who never farts in public wish to save their lives line from an unwarranted to! I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever jokes about our feline companions and their relatives about our companions... If there is something that can make a child can operate them are parents grass Q favorite but they a. She has to pee you and all joke-lovers going to tell you a poop but! Me like one of the water and offered them one wish '' teach a man to,! Just manually add the email addresses you 'd like to keep in your contact list silver. Receptionist at a sperm bank say to the barman: you see that glass at the other end of bag... 4.42 A. urine Trouble you cant believe everything you hearbut you can repeat it seems they were busy to! A silver spoon in her mouth something that can make a child can operate them are.. Going to tell a joke we get pissed off love as well those butt bum jokes me with feeling... Shouted out, '' I wish he kneaded a poo when theyre too corny or run on precise line an! The bottle tonight '' for you and all joke-lovers Pterodactyl using the bathroom best time to to!
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