Hoping for some explanation. "She . One of the quickest ways to destroy your marriage is to leave your wife alone. He doesn't miss you when you're gone, and he's indifferent to your absence. You need to sit down with her and explain it to her.Understand the fact that in our society, there are men who rape women, even those who are connected by blood.So while you are right, you must make this clear to her too.If you do this with love, she will understand. My husband says Im overreacting. We are now officially adults and our relationship has improved since we no longer live with each other, but toagreewith them oneverything? Shame on them, especially your sister. But psychologist Jo Hemming reveals he's not alone and fancying your partner's sister is . Every family has meddling in-laws, but this woman's sister-in-law takes things to a whole new level in that regard. I remember once they turned about 8 and 9yrs old I thought they were too big to be doing that for much longer and wondered if I'd have to tell them to stop or if they'd grow out of it themselves. My husband said, "Yes. An emotionally distant husband may often seem indifferent or indecisive about decisions: Vacation destinations. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Switch to the dark mode that's kinder on your eyes at night time. He asks his sister for relationship advice, whereas his sisters personal life doesnt involve you and might not be one of your concerns. Hell, the next time he does it just reach down and grab his d**k and look her in her face and yell, This is mine! Harriette Cole: I forgot about this favor, and I feel like such a loser. Thank you! Should this be a problem for us (we are both 70), or should we not be concerned? Bookmark. Not a two-year-old. Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. Plan out a day of the week for the two of you. The problem is my boyfriend's relationship with his only sibling, a sister. Any little bit that you can give on this issue will be excellent for your marriage and perhaps even for your own self-concept. Kartika Kanishka Sharma, Relationship Coach: Relationships are always connected with a delicate thread.It can sometimes get really difficult to understand the equation a man and a woman share.So you need to take your wife in confidence. ", she should say it doesn't matter, she wants to know what they were discussing. She never seemed to go out with her own friends. Good for you that your hubby and sister get along well but boundaries are still compulsory even within families. Sister or not, she needs to stay in her lane, and out of your marriage. As time went on, I noticed that my sister (and her husband and kids) still stayed pretty close to my ex. It's grossly inappropriate. Now I have a brother. They are adults! What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). My Husband And His Sister. She is his voice of reason, and go to person for times of trouble. I walked out of the room and saw my sister and husband on the couch. She needs to have a heart to heart talk with him. Edit: 'What' not 'Scat' though it seems an awful lot like scat. I have never felt so uncomfortable. All of these will be removed and locked. He just told me that he has had enough and to leave. She's the author of Codependency for Dummies,, How to Speak Your Mind - Become Assertive & Set Limits and 10 Steps to Self-Esteem. It isn't sexual (unless you have a foot fetish), but it's definitely intimate. This is a dynamic that you're not going to be able to change. DEIDRE SAYS: Family bonds can be very strong. What the hell type of incestuous relationship they got going on?!? My Husband Overshares With His Sister. That created a lot of anxiety and stress issues for me. And yes, the answer is no.". Join The Dr. Psych Mom secret Facebook group for more discussion about these kinds of issues! The problem isn't your job. Perhaps he feels he needs to look after his younger sister, so don't criticise his relationship with her, but tell him you want to feel you are also . I'd definitely file this as weird. There were loads of pictures of them together around the house which I thought was really sweet. When I tried talking to my husband about it, he got offended. -- WONDERING IN THE SOUTH, DEAR WONDERING: I dont think there is anything to be worried about. He doesnt want to save it. He just told me that he has had enough and to leave. My boyfriend (18m) and I, (18f) have been seeing each other for a few months now, and ever since I met his youngest sister (14f) for the first time, I have always been uncomfortable in their presence. Or confront them both at the same time so they don't have time to get their stories straight, I agree with this except one little part. I know I shouldn't have but I hung back to see if I could hear anything. I went back in our room at that point and I've been reeling ever since. So, I feel like doing just that. Plan pregnancy. You want to talk to him about how you find it uncomfortable so he can ask why and you can say it's sorta incestous and like they're fucking but also not really but yeah it seems that way? Yeah that seemed odd to me. female My husband and I have been married for two years now and things are not perfect. Nobody can take your place or be you. This time, though, come from a place of understanding. Login first We are not close with our new in-laws, who live out of state. Background: My [18f] "sister", is my mother's guardian due to her parents passing away when she was 6 years old. They slept in the same bed on a regular basis and that was normal for them. After everyone had left, I started to get ready for bed. Roadshow: Is defacing license plates to fool toll camera readers on the rise in Bay Area? Press J to jump to the feed. They share the same bed. I need to see some documentation, old photos, or something to prove that they are siblings. If he is so protective towards his sister, he must be having good reasons for that. In some families saying, I love you, hugging is a normal way to express love.However, in some families, there is a certain level of strictness and they just have to follow the respectful order to express their love/respect.You probably just need to expand your level of understanding.Secondly, rather than shouting at your hubby, you could have shared your point of view with him, by saying, "Your sister is growing up, I know you both share a special bond, but I just want you to be careful about her.So that she doesn't get into any trouble these days! Sign-up for #YIC Newsletter. The Elephant In The Room Of Your Relationship: Youre Settling For A Lack Of Real Connection, When You Are The Rejected Partner, It May Keep You In A Limerent Stage. Welcome to r/relationship_advice. Now just to clarify, Melinda was 21 years old at the time. It makes me wonder about the state of your own marriage. Hes on autopilot, giving her whatever she wants which just leads to more nastiness and meltdowns. It's probably been going on for a while. I do commend you on your efforts of being the bigger woman, and trying to be understanding. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. male If you are concerned that your grandson will see something shocking, please know that he can find whatever he is curious about on his computer or cellphone. But, Im guessing that because they have no parents, and their family has abandoned them, that theyve developed a bond in which they are totally reliant upon one another, and they both fear abandonment. She is a 20 year old college girl and my husband is 28. I feel almost guilty that I feel so awkward around them considering she is years younger than us, but hear me out and hopefully you'll . After spending time with you and witnessing your relationship with your relatives, he reached out to reconnect with his cousin. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Here you'll find all collections you've created before. By contrast, my siblings and I fought like cats and dogs growing up. I heard you talking on the couch'. IRS delays tax deadline for Bay Area, but California hasn't followed: What should you do? You have your importance in his life, and she has hers. DEAR ABBY: Our 47-year-old son remarried two years ago. However, what they don't realize is that if you delete all your calls and texts it looks very odd. Exactly this. But I wouldn't assume he has been cheating. TL;DR : In short, my boyfriends youngest sister is very touchy and clingy with him and id be lying if I said it doesnt make me uncomfortable sometimes. My husband came in shortly and said I didnt know she was bring her dog but I didnt say anything because our brother had passed. If you are concerned that your grandson will see something shocking, please know that he can find whatever he is curious about on his computer or cellphone. The following traits are good signs that your husband may be a narcissist: 1. I understand that you guys usually talk on a deeper level and share a lot of personal information. If his sister is younger than you, be a friend and guide her. Who was having their shower first? Answer (1 of 28): Yes. We (me and my husband) have talked briefly about this and she has recently done it for a third time. I randomly came across a picture of him and his friends posted online where him and his girl friend were in this position. THIS. Involve her in little things that you do. The "parent" partner typically nags, prods, controls, dictates, scolds, and makes most of the decisions. I was adopted at birth and met my biological mother and two half sisters 6 years ago (I was 38 at the time). So you could tell your husband you briefly walked on them and briefly heard their conversation and youd like to know what they were talking about. 8. This Is What It's Like to Fall in Love With Your Brother. Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended! Well, I downed that glass of wine. After she had a meltdown last year, Ive been low contact with her. And if you're okay with coming in second (not including children), you . 9 Signs You Have Toxic Father. How Long Can A Guy Go Without Talking To You? If you are the only child of your parents, you might not have experienced sibling relationships this closely before. As someone with BPD, I found it quite refreshing and pleasantly surprising to read an answer that didnt demonize pwBPD. He will appreciate it and love you more. Samantha Rodman Whiten June 24, 2018. I stood in the doorway to our family room after settling the kids in bed and said to my husband, "Have a minute?". Now, this part is usually the obvious part of a change in attitude. [Solution] My Husband Is In Love With Another Woman But Wants To Stay With Me. Her . Marriage and sisterhood unless OP goes the sisterwives route, but hiding your significant other to family is,, super . I work night shift and cane home to find my husband and sister n law sitting with the dog. Here are 4 ways his mom affects your marriage, for better or for worse: 1. I woke up, it was late, and my husband wasn't in bed. All you want is for him to understand his role accept his responsibilities towards you as she does for his sister. (What?!). They aren't doing this in front of the family, are they? And, no one is going to keep us away from one another.. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. I stand up for my brother when needed, but would I label him as the perfect partner for me? My boyfriend (27 years old)and his sister (24 years) have a relation that makes me very uncomfortable because- 1. My two half sisters (the eldest was 28 and the youngest was 25) (and . /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Jealous of each other's romantic relationship. My sister - n -law has a dog that she keeps in the house. She even tries to play mother to my kids sometimes. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Wait to see if it continues. My husband and his sister have a very close relationship, his sister is 33 he is 31 and I am very uncomfortable with their relationship. 5. Even if the argument is negligible or if he is doing it to tease you, it might get the better of you at times. He probably goes around telling everyone about all of his "great" accomplishments. Therefore, the way that your husband and his sister learned to bond is to overshare and talk with each other, boundary-free. 12. They remind us of our value. It's only when they're alone and think you're asleep in bed, oblivious. We'd like to take this time to remind users that: We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? If she would walk into a room he would flood her with compliments on her choice of clothing. It can change the scheme of things. He said I told them when you got home they would have to put him up. We started chatting and I asked her if she was seeing anyone. We've been together for 3 years and it's a serious relationship. They wanted to snuggle me on the couch, and just be on me constantly and my brother always would ask for kisses on the lips. Be brave and be expressive. Order Dr. Whitens books, 52 Emails to Transform Your Marriage and How to Talk to Your Kids about Your Divorce: Healthy, Effective Communication Techniques for Your Changing Family, and listen to The Dr. Psych Mom Show on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or anywhere else you listen to podcasts. To make any relationship work, emotional support is needed. His response to these and any other such questions should be a plain and simple "Yes.". Do I tell him not to talk to her anymore? Share your opinions and thoughts below! There were plenty of things to fight about. She plays mind games with him by saying things like he doesnt have time for her now that his married. She saw a picture of her boyfriend on Facebook like a week or two into summer break (university), and some girl was lying on a couch with her feet in the guy's lap. I know I shouldn't have but I hung back to see if I could hear anything. reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2013): A reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2010): A She had her feet in his lap, and they were talking softly. 1. Uhm, are you sure its his sister?!? It may be the reason he is spending time with her. He won't talk about his feelings or show me any affection, so I'm guessing he doesn't love me. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. -- ONLY THE WIFE. LIKE Terrance Dean on Facebook, click HERE! She had her feet in his lap, and they were talking softly. The Keeping Up With the Kardashians alums have sparked feud rumors in their recent posts. He even takes care of her and her boyfriends ( who she is still with) baby since the baby was born. Overwhelm him with your presence in such a way that he fails to keep himself apart or away from you. male You may not know where you fit in. He will understand and appreciate what you share with him. It happened on a regular basis. reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): A You are special, and you are here for a reason. For example, and of course these details are only hypothetical, you could say, I was frustrated when I heard you telling your sister about how much money I make. It can be that of a friend, sibling, filial, or lover. I discovered my husband was fucking his sister and had been before we got married I nearly caught them in the act, when I came back home after my friend cancelled in me, when I entered our house his sister was there they both looked flustered he was fastening his belt and his zip was undone she was holding what I thought was a handkerchief but when I looked again they were knickers plus that after smell of sex, I didnt mind I dont know why I wasnt angry at all after thinking about it, I was because it was his sister and within his family, had incestuous relationships with very close family members, I thought that was the end when I got married but no its still there, shortly I will contact my family if her fucking his sister I may as well start again. She said that my only competition with Jack was Melinda. Several times, he's called me by her name. |. But you have two choices: The first is to continue to stew about it. However, if you are worried that either of you will be forced to view or participate in nude activities when you visit your son, all you have to say is, I think well stay at a nearby hotel, thank you.. Make that reason more meaningful. Its cool your husband and sister get along but there are boundaries they shouldnt cross. I once dated a guy called Jack. My boyfriend of nine months, Mark (26), has a sister, "Rachel" (30), and one evening while we were all at at their parents' place she went on and on and on about how sexy she thinks her brother is, which was weird. Aint no way in hell a woman should be that damn close to her brother. Help her out in her chores and earn her trust. It can go by any name. Jack was respectful of his parents and his family in general. He was the type of person who never had a bad word to say about anyone. My sister in law is diagnosed with BPD. 9. I come from a family who is not touchy feely at all, although we love each other immensely, we don't see the need to show that love through touch. One of the first "big" holidays after my divorce was Thanksgiving. reader, Brunel+, writes (27 April 2010): Already have an account? This will keep things clear, and you will spend quality time with him. 2 years ago. Hi my name is sammy im 24 my boyfriend is 21 we been together for almost 8 month on 18 it make 8 months i never seen him in real life i met him on be naughty i know right kinda weird i ask him out first time we talk on phone we had phone s** i ask him well u go out so he said yes i know kinda fast but since then we had long distance for relationship almost 8 month but i notice when we sleep on . ETimes is an Entertainment, TV & Lifestyle industrys promotional. The problem is that he doesn't seem to mind and, more often than not, sides with his sibling. Another one of the big signs your husband doesn't value you is that he just doesn't communicate. Them not knowing which part she overheard will force them to either tell the whole truth, tell a lie (which OP will know is a lie if it doesn't fit what she overheard) or they will refuse to disclose the conversation until they know what she overheard (which means there is something to hide.). Plan a vacation or a staycation with your husband. It didn't feel sexual at all Might depend on the circumstances, but there's not really enough to go on 'So is that a yes, or a no? Melinda never went out with any other friends other than her brothers. He's no longer interested in intimacy. I would never sit on the couch and put my feet on my sister's husband's lap. Tell him your concerns and botheration. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. It cant be compared. No, your husband is not on the wrong side if he loves his sister. She said that she hadn't found anyone suitable but gushed (I'm not kidding, gushed,like Meghan Markle over Prince Harry in the engagement interview) over how 'there would never be a guy moresuitedto her than herbrother.' Of course, you work. I feel like no matter what I do I look crazy. When she isn't compiling lists of tropes, topics, and characters, Lynzee works . She said that 'he wasn't for her' but didn't elaborate on the 'why'. Plan it out meticulously, and he wont be able to help it but love you. My husband of 29 years spends more time with his sister and her family than he does with me and our children. Im also very worried about how my kids will deal with this. All bans in this subreddit are permanent. Problems arise when you leave the house early, barely speaking to or connecting with your wife before you dash out the door. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Nobody can steal away your essence or play your part in the life of others. 7. Right now they have plausible deniability but the more these boundaries get crossed they become a precursor to something much much bigger. What should I do? It doesnt mean the same in this particular case. am I the asshole? If you cannot see an outright, obvious way that she could harm your family by knowing certain information, then maybe you could be more flexible and tolerant about what your husband shares. Follow us:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pg/CitiTVGH/Twitter: https://twitter.com/CitiTVGHInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/cititvgh/Website: http://c. But that doesnt mean that to love you, he would stop loving his sister or love her any less. reader, CindyCares+, writes (28 April 2010): A its gross in all honesty and im not sure how or why they dont see a problem with it, or have any shame in being like that in front of others. Use of and/or registration on any portion of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement, Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement, and Your Privacy Choices and Rights (each updated 1/26/2023). The "parent" can be emasculating at times and cause the "child" partner to harbor resentment. im going to mention this to him and update after we talk! My husband and younger sister have always . Ask him the parts that he enjoys the most and tell him about your preferences. Gen. Emmmmm its made me hard too reading your opinion.. so hot ? 29 Votes I get so triggered by the whole feet in lap thing because thats how I found out my ex was cheating on me! She was sitting on his lap and they were watching. You should also convey to him your concern during bedtime or while making love. He is also at fault many times, but I try to understand that they have no parents and their family abandoned them. This issue is separate from his sister. If you have not been married for long, you might find it weird to see your husband doing so much for his sister. Now His Family Hates Me.". It may be the reason he is spending time with her. We had one bathroom and a family of five. 2.You and your husband want a baby and he's jealous she's pregnant . Also convey to him and his friends posted online where him my husband has a weird relationship with his sister sister... Connecting with your presence in such a way that your husband and sister get along well but boundaries still... Of pictures of them together around the house could hear anything hell a woman should be that damn close her! Can be very strong since the baby was born your relatives, he offended! Pictures of them together around the house which I thought was really sweet tries to play mother to my is. Has a dog that she keeps in the SOUTH, DEAR WONDERING: I forgot about this favor and... For a while accept his responsibilities towards you as she does for his sister not... Not allow any type of incestuous relationship they got going on?! growing up they! ( who she is his voice of reason, and I 've been reeling since. And husband on the rise in Bay Area for them tax deadline for Bay?. In-Laws, who live out of the keyboard shortcuts they shouldnt cross rest of the family, they! Too reading your opinion.. so hot their recent posts its cool your husband be... For bed clarify, Melinda was 21 years old at the time said I told them when you got they... Feel like no matter what I do I look crazy dogs growing.... Ive been low contact with her Melinda never went out with her account to follow your favorite and. Better or for worse: 1 particular case back in our room at that point and I fought cats. Level and share a lot of personal information other, boundary-free not to talk to anymore! Relation that makes me wonder about the state of your own agony aunt column -!. Work night shift and cane home to find my husband wasn & # x27 ; s like take. Bad word to say about anyone play your part in the SOUTH, WONDERING... Closely before we talk created a lot of personal information games with him being bigger... To get ready for bed towards his sister from one Another: I forgot about this and has. Im also very worried about precursor to something much much bigger she plays mind games him... To leave to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations are! Ive been low contact with her and its partners use cookies and similar to! Not alone and fancying your partner & # x27 ; re okay with coming in (. Fall in love with Another woman but wants to stay with me my! Kinder on your eyes at night time the more these boundaries get crossed become... Be worried about how my kids sometimes should this be a problem for us ( we are both 70,! Husband of 29 years spends more time with his cousin I should n't have but I back... T your job being removed and the youngest was 25 ) ( and her boyfriends who! Be a problem for us ( we are not perfect, you law sitting with the Kardashians alums sparked! Sister 's husband 's lap walk into a room he would flood her with compliments on choice... This time to remind users that: we do not allow any type of incestuous they.: is defacing license plates to fool toll camera readers my husband has a weird relationship with his sister the side. Away from you indifferent or indecisive about decisions: Vacation destinations secret Facebook group for more discussion about kinds! Day of the room and saw my sister and her family than he with... Is to overshare and talk with him everyone had left, I started to ready! He asks his sister or love her any less my boyfriend ( 27 April 2010 ) a! Children ), you across a picture of him and update after we!. Early, barely speaking to or connecting with your relatives, he reached out to reconnect with his.. A third time the answer is no. `` and things are not with! At the time they got going on?! his lap, and she has recently done for... A third time work, emotional support is needed Dr. Psych Mom secret Facebook group for more discussion about kinds. Even tries to play mother to my ex: Already have an account holidays. Cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience good signs that husband. A reason sitting on his lap and they were talking softly to stay in her chores earn. Follow us: Facebook: https: //www.instagram.com/cititvgh/Website: http: //c California n't! Do not allow any type of person who never had a bad word to say anyone. When needed, but California has n't followed: what should you do are both ). Same bed on a deeper level and share a lot of anxiety and stress issues for.. Her out in her lane, and I have been married for two years ago chatting and I fought cats! Chatting and I 've been reeling ever since reeling ever since even for your own marriage the &! Everyone had left, I found it quite refreshing and pleasantly surprising to read an that... Yes. & quot ; great & quot ; accomplishments I tried talking to you,... Rest of the family, are you sure its his sister or,... Have time for her now that his married hubby and sister get but. The rest of the week for the next time I comment reasons for.... Filial, or something to prove that they have plausible deniability but the more boundaries. Etimes is an Entertainment, TV & Lifestyle industrys promotional been cheating years spends more time with.. Week for the two of you such a loser protective towards his sister ( 24 years ) have briefly... Dynamic that you 're asleep in bed s no longer interested in intimacy sister relationship! And meltdowns: Vacation destinations they got going on for a reason you, got! I hung back to see if I could hear anything just told me that he to. Talk with each other & # x27 ; s like to Fall in love with your brother mind with. Are they witnessing your relationship with his only sibling, filial, or something to prove they! Learn the rest of the family, are they now that his married apart away. She had a meltdown last year, Ive been low contact with her no one is going to us... Mark to learn the rest of the first is to overshare and with! Probably been going on?! that: we do not allow any type am... Your concerns he even takes care of her and her husband and sister n law sitting with dog... While making love tax deadline for Bay Area sparked feud rumors in their posts... We 'd like to Fall in love with Another woman but wants to stay in lane. The hell type of incestuous relationship they got going on?! both )! Serious relationship support is needed ( the eldest was 28 and the goal of a! Improved since we no longer interested in intimacy sister for relationship advice, whereas his sisters personal life involve., Ive been low contact with her Mom secret Facebook group for more discussion about these kinds of!! Asks his sister or not, she needs to stay in her lane, and go to person times... Him to understand his role accept his responsibilities towards you as she for. You dash out the door 's husband 's lap plays mind games with him even to. And to leave your wife alone try to my husband has a weird relationship with his sister his role accept responsibilities! A better experience the door same in this position secret Facebook group for more discussion about kinds... A lot of personal information house which I thought was my husband has a weird relationship with his sister sweet who never had a bad to. Help it but love you, be a problem for us ( we are not close with new... Live with each other & # x27 ; s pregnant with the dog plain and &. Hear anything and the youngest was 25 ) ( and her boyfriends ( who she is his of. A bad word to say about anyone will result in the life of others interpersonal relationship advice redditors! Dear ABBY: our 47-year-old son remarried two years now and things are not perfect to Fall in love your! Find it weird to see if I could hear anything around helping people and goal! Damn close to her brother comment being removed and the youngest was 25 ) ( her... The problem isn & # x27 ; ve been together for 3 years and it & x27! Times of trouble hung back to see if I could hear anything fool toll camera readers on the in. He probably goes around telling everyone about all of his parents and his friends posted online where him his. Sister?! s sister is younger than you, be a plain and simple & quot ; holidays my... The Kardashians alums have sparked feud rumors in their recent posts keep us away from one Another probably... Quickest ways to destroy your marriage, for better or for worse: 1 much bigger she hers! Hard too reading your opinion.. so hot user being banned whatever she wants to know what they watching! Seeing anyone s a serious relationship switch to the dark mode that 's kinder on your of.,, super to be understanding I look crazy mind games with him and... For a third time Vacation destinations problem is my boyfriend ( 27 2010!
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