This man I know I love but..is love enough to keep my eyes from wandering? Has pushed me away and said he will never love me again. She is now talking separation and I think it is a really bad idea. We were high school sweethearts. Be happy to hear your advice. Hate wins when you choose not to make things. I feel ultimate guilt, shame, disgust with myself, sorrow for hurting him and his mom And more. Thank you. Please helpIm desperate to reach him and I dont know how. If the problem was your lying, then the question is: why did you feel a need to lie? But eventually ended with drawn out, heart felt goodbyes to one another. I wish I were at a place in my marriage where Id be willing to give it an attempt. Not in rude way but in a tune that my question was irrelevant. He cant read my emotions at times and mostly assumes Im mad for everything. He is not clear on who he is or what he wants. There is a referral in place for alcohol dependency counselling, and we will do some relationship counselling also but I guess my question is, is there any point? If you are responsible for any part of this, then come clean! If you are working on yourself and so is he, it could still take lots of time. Hes been in and out of rehabs for the past three months three days five days 10 days his last one was 22 days and he was feeling good at all excited to be continuing his recovery at another facility. I feel really bad. But the guy himself, uh-uh. He says it is not because of a nother woman but I cant imagine why he would feel the need to move out after two weeks of living together again. I want to give get as much of the world as I can and give her a life worth living. We met over facebook neither of us looking for someone just one of those chance meetings hit it off completely, both incredibly similar when it comes to the deepest things but quite different on the outside. If so, then counseling to build up your self esteem and self love is in order. How do I get him to see that we are repairable? If your heart is broken, maybe you need to take action on that. Hi Maria, My fianc who I love very much and have been together for almost 10 years and have 2 children. Then she passed out for 4 hours and later went to get mothers house later that afternoon. If we do divorce I will try to get custody of our children and that will start a war with no end. And it was an outlet for peace and not dealing with our issues. For sure though, do not start a new relationship when youre in an old one. This was an extremely helpful article. He decided he needed space and kicked me and the children out of the family home to be able to focus on himself getting better and so I can focus on myself which sounds great in theory but me and the children are living with my family sharing a king size bed in a 1313 room. He hates head games. I gave him the space I knew he needed. No more telling excuses to her. Loving each other and really enjoying each other. She wants to speak with somebody like a family counselor. Its been on and off my anger was just out of control my emotions took over me instead of me controlling it with stragies. Hello my name is Frankie, so Im having problems me and y wife are going through a divorce, i truly love my wife we have a 6 month year old son and I want to win her back, shes told me that she wants to be friends but she has no feelings for me, she says she feels numb. And I told her that. My son is now almost 18. He stopped and has only done it once since. We love each other like no other but I feel the love falling on my side. But I really feel like I am at a fork in my life, I dont know if I should just let him go or hold on and try to fix things.any help would be appreciated. My BF and I have been together for 6 years have 2 kids together. | Zeki & Romaya (2008) looked at people's brains while viewing images of the faces of people they either loved or hated. Ive done my best to show him that Im done with being dishonest & to dedicate my life to loving only him. Just yesterday he told me he doesnt want to be in a relationship anymore. I know I have to be strong and not breakdown but am wondering if it normally takes 2 years or even longer? This will take time (1-2 years) but very well worth it. who could see the greatness in me and learn to love me. Anything but this constant pain I feel. And depressed so I found some ways to alter my mind drugs and didnt physically cheat but read postings. I confronted him and I was absolutely done but I was still in a lot of pain and he then would send me long messages every morning (like this one ) trying to apologie and asking for one more chance and etc it was a huge blow out. I said no we need to talk it out. Hi Princy, My husband asked where his wheel trim was & Peter said its broken; got it out the trunk & showed my husband. I know I love her with every ounce of my being, but throughout the relationship, I managed to abuse her physically and mentally. My ex-husband had severe PTSD from his abusive childhood and then our current wars. It was very humiliating and to see the look if horror on my daughters face was hard. he is pushing me away. I was logged in to his account, so Id see when he deleted their chats. distance relationship so she felt lonely, my physical He says he knows how he feels and he will never feel anything for me again. Part two (how you feel about your partner) flows from this. Sorry so long. But stopped complimenting me. He said that he couldnt go a day without hearing her voice & it seems as though it never mattered as to what they talked about .. he just had to hear her. All these people are people who he has worked with for 15-20 years. It only happens once in a while, like when i hear a song that reminds me of her. Crazy huh? If the person youre married to is not able to be intimate, its time for counseling, IMO. She just sent me bye, nothing more or less and started ignoring me. I am extremely hurt by this man. We also went on vacations with both our families and just in all we were very very close. It works. This person left me scared for her life in the person I turned out to be. I was stunned and heart broken. The problem to me seems like you cant separate in your mind the good man from the bad things he is doing. We started dating and lasted 3 years and our families even met and spent time together and loved each other. I described another guy as beautiful and he got jealous and felt betrayed. Then she can be the icing on your already delicious cake. We inspired eachother in our creative endeavors. I didnt mind buying stuff she needs to get done. Dear Vilma. When he gets mad at me and says mean things it doesnt even hurt anymore I just ignore him or laugh about it, I havent cried over our fights in a long time. i feel im cheating myself by staying and im not in love anymore. All but maybe a year of that my husband has been an alcoholic. But,they kissed. If she is really this fantastic person, I would say to tell her you know exactly why she has pulled away and you dont blame her one bit. My fiance and I have been together for 6 years now. And done much worse. I took all his time and his energy and gave nothing in return. They enter into a relationship in which they can keep one foot in the water, and the other safely out, on the sand. This is human nature though - we tend to value things once we REALLY realize that they can be taken away or gone at any time. Hell take me out on dates, cook me dinner, and most importantly, putting up with me no matter how much I seem to push him away. I was hurt & disillusioned. I have realized that the feelings of being unappreciated and lonely is probably how she has felt over the years with the focus of our lives being on our children. That is what I meant by sexy. Ive recognized many of the things here, including not validating her enough, not making her feel accepted or adored and supported, and many other shortcomings I feel guilty for in oversight. Even if there was not another man in the picture I still believe Money or lack there of is not a reason to stay with a man who doesnt love and respect you like he should. it could be a hundred things. Why werent you supposed to join him and the girl? He is angry with me will not talk to me. He has given me no reason to distrust him since. Since the proposal and my 30th birthday i became more restless and since i took off the ring he just ignored the whole thing while i tried to get therapy for myself and get him with me for couples therapy which lasted only a few times before a proposal was made that we seperate for a trial seperation and see what happens. Ask about her favorite things, what she wants to do next in life, what makes her sad or happy, etc. She said they broke up which i wasnt too sure. If you've ever loved, you know that you can hate a person you love. She says NO I dont want you to go, I dont want to have to deal with your needs, your comfort, and its not about you, its their beautiful day, she says she is done talking and hangs up. He had a rough upbringing and there was no solid male figure in his life to teach him how to really love. We live together, and I think he is planning on proposing to me, he drops a lot of hints, and says he wants to spend his life with me. My boyfriend and I have been together on and off for two years and a half. Our marriage has been rocky ever since. Think about the people you deal with and how straight w them you are. And am trying to get him to seek help. Ive been drinking a lot and feeling so sad and overall not ok. Is there anyway that the relationship could work again and if so how? I still say he has feelings for his ex and wants her. The majority of people wouldnt recognize if theyd been controlling or needy. I was stubborn and got irritated easily, a trait that I now know was conditioned from living with my father who shows the exact same attitude. My boyfriend and I have been dating for nine months. Pulling back or "un-loving" isn't a good strategy and I question if it's even possible while continuing the relationship. So I wish you a healthier and happier new year than in the past, Kathleen. I feel stupid for staying this long. I never stressed on sex with her at all. I am absolutely heart broken and I have no one else other than him and my son. Hello Deb. A lot of my self worth and the way I give and receive love is tied up in physical validation. But lets suppose Im right: You fantasize how life would be with this guy. We were friends in high school and are both 45. I am concerned about his behavior when hes away. What can I do, or do I do anything at all yet and just give him time to process it all? Every alarm in my heart was going off now. And that we wanted to be in love with each other again. im full of anxiety because i feel i may have to make a decision once gain. Its possible for a person to make mistakes in life we all do- but if we LEARN from them, were better than we were before. The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Is it any way that my husband might have a change of heart and can fall in love with me again.Or are we totally done and hes all in to this co worker lady now. 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